Bears And Bathroom Advice

comic about bears and bathroom advice

Bears And Bathroom Advice

Ah, here we go again with bathroom humor. If a bear shits in the woods, I know I won't have to hear it. You know how bad it is when you're sitting in a public restroom, say in an airport, and two guys on either side of you are competing in the fart olympics? All you want to do is get this over with so you can make your flight, and these two morons have been saving this up since a week ago last Tuesday. And I won't even mention the smell. Except to say that this is one of those occasions when you are absolutely certain that instantaneous death would be preferable to this noxious terror. But what can you do? Nothing, but pray and try to get through this. You can't cut short your own process of elimination for fear of having to use an entire roll of toilet paper to clean up because you've stopped in midstream, so to speak. And there's nothing you can do or say to the assholes surrounding you. And, believe me, I use that word advisedly. But, getting back to the bears. They are actually the civilized ones in this little morality tale. They do their business in the fresh air and wide open spaces, where it's much less likely to gross out their neighbors. I'm sure no respectable bear would ever consider doing the nasty brown deed in a confined space like we supposedly intelligent and advanced creatures do. So, my fellow human beings, I will leave you with this: ask not if bears shit in the woods, but rather, why don't we all? Indeed, why don't we all?