Little Bit Of Chess Love

comic about little bit of chess love

Little Bit Of Chess Love

I never was much of a chess player. It always seemed so pointless. Especially the end of the game. You "capture" the king and that's it. You don't actually do anything to the king. You go through all that trouble, racking your brain trying to look three or four moves in advance, or if you're more like me, trying to remember how all of the different pieces move, and then what happens? You say "checkmate" and shake hands. Pardon my French, but who thought up that pussy ending? There has to be more to it than that. The winner should be able to decide what to do to the king. For example, the game could come with a very sharp knife or razor that could be used to cut off the head of the king. Isn't that more like what would happen in real life? Or the game could include a little pile of kindling and some matches to burn the king at the stake, while you, the winner, sits there and gloats, and your opponent, the loser, has to sit there and inhale the noxious fumes from the fire. And why should we stop with the king? What about all those pieces you captured during the game? They're your freakin' prisoners! How about some cute little torture machines for those bastards? I mean, this is war! Right? Oh, I know there are those bleeding hearts out there who are going to bitch and moan and say, what about the children? Is it right to introduce blatant violence to such a revered and classic game that our children will be learning? To them I say, wait till you hear my ideas for revising Chutes and Ladders and Candyland.