Mother Knows Best

comic about mother knows best

Mother Knows Best

 When mom was elected President, I have to admit I had mixed emotions. Certainly there was a great feeling of pride knowing that my mother who had breastfed me for almost a week and had changed my diapers several times was now the leader of the free world. But freedom, my fellow Americans, is a thing of the past thanks to my mother. She had barely lifted her hand from the bible on inauguration day when she began to push through many of the draconian measures that she had been planning since I was a toddler and she was cutting her fascist teeth as a member of our town council. The first, and in my opinion the most insidious of these laws, was the total ban on running with scissors. She, of course, claimed that she did this to "protect all of the innocent children" out there. Oh really? Don't make me laugh. For many children the only time they get any exercise is when they're running around with a pair of scissors in their grubby little hands. Well, she's not going to get away with it, not if I can help it. I ask all of you freedom lovers out there to please join me this coming Sunday in our nation's capital for the First Annual Million Scissors March. And we ain't going to be doing no marching if you get my drift. People, it's time to cut the government apron strings once and for all! And mom, if you happen to read this, can you send Air Force One to pick me up? Love ya!!!!