Office Jesus At Work

comic about office Jesus at work

Office Jesus At Work

We hired Jesus because we thought he would be a valuable addition to our team. Okay, that's pure bullshit. You know it and I know it. We hired him because of his old man. I mean, when the big guy calls and says, "Hey, can you do me a favor and put my kid on the payroll?" what are you supposed to say? "Oh gee, God, I'm sorry but your kid's hippie look might not fit in with a conservative firm like ours. We're pretty much a three-piece suit environment. The long hair and sandals wouldn't quite cut it here." No, you say exactly what we said, "Sure, we'd love to have him. When can he start?" Well, he's been here almost two months, and quite frankly, things just aren't working out. Oh, he's a nice enough kid, but he just doesn't seem to have much of a work ethic. He usually strolls in around ten, ten-thirty. Then he spends an hour or two trying to impress the single women in the office with anecdotes of his famous miracles. You know what would be a miracle? If he actually came in on time and got right down to work. After he's gone through several of his stories, it's just about time for lunch. You've probably heard that the three-martini lunch has gone out of style. Well, guess who's bringing it back. And, of course, he always has to do his water into wine bit for everyone at the table, so by the time he gets back to the office he's ready for a good two-hour nap. When he finally wakes up, he spends the remainder of the afternoon running back and forth to the restroom. He claims he has an enlarged prostate, but I'm not buying it. Come on, the dude's in his early thirties, his prostate's fine. Not that it matters anyway. As far as I'm concerned, he can pretty much do or not do what he wants. As that great philosopher and businessman, Confucius, once said, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than it is for a CEO to get into heaven after he has dissed Number One Son.