Tales Of Turtle Love

comic about tales of turtle love

Tales Of Turtle Love

I knew things weren't going to go well when she ordered the soup. Call me old-fashioned, but I'm not a big fan of cannibalism. They say to each his own. Well I say don't eat your own. Anyway, there we were on our first and last date. I had only agreed to do this as a favor for my best friend. His cousin was in town, could I take her to dinner? Sure, why not? Maybe I would get lucky. Okay, take your mind out of the gutter. Not that kind of get lucky. I mean really get lucky. Fall in love. Find my soul mate. That sort of thing. The real thing. I had heard of it happening to other turtles. Why not me? Well, it didn't. Not that night. Not any night, before or since. So anyway, she orders the turtle soup. I raised an eyebrow. (yes, despite popular belief, we do have eyebrows!) Naturally she didn't notice. She was too busy talking about herself. How she never had a shell job and never would. Not like some of her shallow friends. I must admit here that she did have a pretty sexy shell, especially for someone her age. So the soup comes and she starts snarfing it down like nobody's business. Well, I just couldn't restrain myself at that point. "I'm sorry," I said, as gently and delicately as I could manage given my horror and disgust, "don't you find it a bit distasteful to be enjoying a dish which could possibly contain the remains of one of your relatives." She looked at me with surprise, if not shock, and said, "Listen brother, if you met some of my relatives, you'd be damned glad they were in this soup and not walking around on God's green earth free to do who knows what to who knows who." Well, as you can imagine, the meal and the evening went down hill after that. Being a gentleman, I did walk her home. Believe me, that was the longest ten hours of my life. I called my best friend the next day to tell him about the date, but I couldn't reach him. I've been trying every day for two weeks, but no luck. I have to tell you, I'm starting to get worried about him.