The Art Of Small Talk

comic about the art of small talk

The Art Of Small Talk

Surveys have found that one of the things people dread most in life is making small talk at a party. This is, of course, perfectly understandable. After all, when you meet a person for the first time, you don't want to say something that might make you look like an idiot. Even if you happen to actually be an idiot, whose business is that anyway? Nobody's. Especially not some schmuck's you've just bumped into at a lamo party that you didn't want to come to in the first place. Do these people think you have nothing better to do than stand around and hear about their exciting career in life insurance or how they went to Disney World with their pathetic children? Well actually you don't have anything better to do, or else you wouldn't be there, would you? So now what? Now you wait for them to quit boring you with their life story, and then it's your turn. Don't make the mistake of trying to one-up them with tales of your adorable family and stellar career. Believe me, they don't care, and don't want to hear about it. Instead, take a big bite of whatever hors d'ouevre you happen to be holding so that you begin to choke. They will immediately start to perform the Heimlich Maneuvre on you, because there's nothing bores like better than to look like a hero. Now this will leave only two possible outcomes, both of which are good. If they do it right, you'll spit out the food, preferably onto another guest, and everyone will be grossed out and try to avoid you the rest of the evening. Or they'll do it wrong, and you'll die. Cheers. And thanks for coming.