The Good Old Days

comic about the good old days

The Good Old Days

Hey old people out there, quit complaining! We're really getting tired of all your griping. You've got it made in the shade with all your freebies and everyone waiting on you hand and foot. Like meals on wheels. Meals on wheels! Is it really going to kill you to get off your bony butts and make yourself a sandwich? And please stop with the hard of hearing jive. We know you can hear us. You're just not listening. And why aren't you? Because we bore you! That's right, admit it. Oh, we're on to you all right. Walking around everywhere with your damn walkers. No wonder the mall is so crowded all the time. Each one of you is taking up the space of two people because you're pushing around those infernal contraptions that you claim you need so you don't fall down. Falling down may be the best thing to ever happen to you. How can you know if you've never tried it? And another thing you should try is using the bathroom like the rest of us. We're getting pretty tired of you filling up our landfills with your diapers. Have a little consideration, okay? Now here's the big news: as of today we're cutting off your Viagra. That's right, gramps, tell grandma the party's over. If you want to get it on, you're going to have to get it up on your own. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Speaking of smoking, you can also say good-bye to your precious "medicinal" marijuana. We're not falling for that scam anymore. You're not the only one that wasn't born yesterday. So suck it up and face the pain and the music, because Elvis, my little chickadees, has left the building. And dat's the name of dat tune.