Numbers Knowledge

What are the odds? Actually, I know what the odds are. What I’d really like to know is what are the evens?

No Feathers

My problem is I always get my hopes down.

Paranoid Or Paranormal?

You’re damn right I’m afraid of my own shadow! Don’t you think it’s suspicious that it’s always following me?

Foot Work

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. And ends with a lot of blisters.


If the shoe fits, don’t worry if the socks don’t match.

That’s Just Great

If you’re that impressed with sliced bread, you need to get out more.

Good Point

After I’m done pinning the tail on the donkey, I always pin the blame on the donkey too. That’s called multi-tasking.

Looking Back And Both Ways

It’s okay to feel nostalgic once in a while, but be careful you don’t get run down on memory lane.

Sit! Smile!

My dog’s bark is much worse than his bite. Those doggie braces were worth every penny!

Close Call

I once had too much of a good thing, but luckily it was within the margin of error.